Immunity Challenge #4 Results

[Jeff]

The stories have been scored.

Judge #1 is Angi. She has previously played at SEG under the name diamondaurapage and currently plays in many other Survivor and ANTM games on other sites.

Judge #2 is Andy. He used to play in many other games at other sites under, normally as Amanda Kimmel and is generally seen judging in ANTM games lately.

I could not get a third judge in a decent amount of time, so my scores are being used in that space.


We'll start with the tribe that earned the most points for their stories.

SPOILER: Click to show

Lambda Phi Delta

Out of the remaining tribes, one of you scored 284 points, while the other scored 239 points.

SPOILER: Click to show

Psi Beta Gamma

This means that Omicron Tau Theta, I will be seeing you at Tribal Council where someone will be eliminated.

The other two tribes, please have a preference list posted in your confessional of which players you'd like to absorb from Omicron Tau Theta.


TC will be posted in the morning.

[Franka]

Whew! Congrats Lambda Phi Delta! And good luck to Omicron Tau Theta.

[Jeff]

Judge #1 - Angi

LPD Romance

Creativity: 9/10
Word Choice: 8/10
Pace: 6/10
Grammar: 9/10
Entertainment: 7/10
Overall: 39/50

This story had potential to be good but left me very confused. Confused about the guys, confused about the game, confused about everything lol Potential is there though.



OTT Romance

Creativity: 9/10
Word Choice: 9/10
Pace: 9/10
Grammar: 9/10
Entertainment: 8/10
Overall: 44/50

This one was a bit better, giving me parts and leaving me wanting more but also not making me think wtf is going on.



PBG Romance

Creativity: 9/10
Word Choice: 10/10
Pace: 10/10
Grammar: 9/10
Entertainment: 10/10
Overall: 48/50

There were a couple of errors, like only two literally lol But overall, my favourite of the bunch and I really want more, can you tell this person to finish the story and epub it so i can add it to my ereader please



PBG Play

Creativity: 10/10
Word Choice: 9/10
Pace: 10/10
Grammar: 10/10
Entertainment: 9/10
Overall: 48/50

UGH leave me hanging, I have no clue what “Predestined History of Humans Volumes DEL-DIM” means lmfao Great job



LPD Play

Creativity: 9/10
Word Choice: 6/10
Pace: 9/10
Grammar: 7/10
Entertainment: 4/10
Overall: 35/50

This one left me a bit dizzy and just blah, the wording and the way the characters talked, was not good. A bit long too and just, the friend and mother were not believable



OTT Play

Creativity: 2/10
Word Choice: 3/10
Pace: 1/10
Grammar: 8/10
Entertainment: 1/10
Overall: 15/50

ummmmmmmmmmmm..........




OTT Children's

Creativity: 7/10
Word Choice: 8/10
Pace: 5/10
Grammar: 9/10
Entertainment: 7/10
Overall: 36/50

it has potential...... needs more to it....a good effort though



LPD Children's

Creativity: 10/10
Word Choice: 10/10
Pace: 10/10
Grammar: 10/10
Entertainment: 10/10
Overall: 50/50

This was a good story for kids, and loved the moral of the story



PBG Children's

Creativity: 1/10
Word Choice: 1/10
Pace: 1/10
Grammar: 6/10
Entertainment: 0/10
Overall: 9/50

knows?? lol OK i stopped laughing by the end, I'm sorry but I would not read this to my child. They KILLED AND ATE their sibling!!! This isn't GRIMM!!! omg horrible children's story

[Jeff]

Judge #2 - Andy

Romance #1 - LPD

Creativity: 4/10 - So Lynn Catalina is a whore who mesmerizes men like Parvati? Bleh. I also found the opening to be a turn-off, since I was expecting a love story.
Word Choice: 7/10 - Could have used some stronger words in places.
Pace: 5/10 - It happened too fast. We didn't get the sensual details from the lovemaking stuff.
Grammar: 9/10 - I didn't notice and major eye-bleeding issues, so that's a good thing.
Entertainment: 6/10 - It was funny... in the bad kind of way.
Overall: 31/50


Romance #2 - OTT

Creativity: 6/10 - The use of the song is freaking brilliant. The rest... is absolutely nothing special. You could try and create your own characters instead of using Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron...
Word Choice: 7/10 - The word choice is decent. Cut an adverb or two, change a few others, add how Zac looked at her, and you'll be fine.
Pace: 7/10 - It's fine, really.
Grammar: 1/10 - the "P" in "iPHone" is capitalized. I also noticed a change in tense OUTSIDE the Flashback. Several missing periods. The last sentence is completely butchered... this entire thing needs a major grammatical tune-up.
Entertainment: 3/10 - I found this boring. There were no sensual details at all.
Overall: 24/50



Romance #3 - PBG

Creativity: 4/10 - This wasn't romantic in the slightest. It seemed too ordinary, although the evil empress was too quick to fire Alicia.
Word Choice: 6/10 - Mike introduced himself twice. Nothing about it struck me!
Pace: 5/10 - It went too slowly at times and didn't feel complete at others.
Grammar: 3/10 - There are some major gaffes. "Alice" becoming "Alicia" and "gripped" were two that jumped at me quickly.
Entertainment: 4/10 - It was boring.
Overall: 22/50



Play #1 - PBG

Creativity: 6/10 - Interesting idea. It's a bit short to flesh out too much, though.
Word Choice: 7/10 - I don't have any major problems with it. A minor one or two.
Pace: 4/10 - Too many actions. Plays don't have this many typically.
Grammar: 8/10 - Missing comma. No other major issues.
Entertainment: 7/10 - Short but sweet. Very... intriguing.
Overall: 30/50



Play #2 - LPD

Creativity: 9/10 - I thought this was very, very unique in multiple ways. The ending was also unexpected!
Word Choice: 7/10 - A little weak in spots, but no major qualms.
Pace: 6/10 - Could have trimmed the dialogue down a little, but at least there weren't too many actions here!
Grammar: 8/10 - This format is more "Screenplay" but that's fine (play for screen, after all). I saw "Roberts" instead of "Roberta" once, but other than that...
Entertainment: 8/10 - I enjoyed this a lot. Hating Genevieve and seeing her get her comeuppance was great.
Overall: 38/50



Play #3 - OTT

Creativity: 2/10 - Twilight doesn't have real vampires. Also, for a "convention," this most certainly SUCKS.
Word Choice: 5/10 - Weak, but not wrong.
Pace: 4/10 - Too short. No details. No character development.
Grammar: 5/10 - Not good. "Why not?" needs to be a question. "Comes into the scene" doesn't work. Too many things that are just... bleh.
Entertainment: 4/10 - The only part that made me smile was "YOLO." The rest... well, I despise Twilight, so that hurt it a lot.
Overall: 20/50




Children's #1 - OTT


Creativity: 4/10 - Taking down bullies is too common...
Word Choice: 4/10 - Weak in spots. Too complex for kids in others.
Pace: 5/10 - Not good.
Grammar: 3/10 - "Breath" not "breathe!" What is this: "parents move was not as good as he hoped to be" ? And.
Entertainment: 5/10 - Nothing special.
Overall: 21/50


Children's #2 - LPD

Creativity: 7/10 - Very cute and very appropriate for the audience. I also thought Owl was guilty, so I liked that he wasn't.
Word Choice: 7/10 - Works just fine.
Pace: 8/10 - Appropriate for a kids' book
Grammar: 6/10 This ". instead of ." annoys me. That's it.
Entertainment: 5/10 - Nothing to unique in this department... for an adult anyway.
Overall: 33/50


Children's #3 - PBG

Creativity: 6/10 - I don't know if killing the princess off is the right thing for a kid's story, but I otherwise liked it.
Word Choice: 6/10 - "Caressing" is a bit much for kids. No other issues.
Pace: 5/10 - The princess turning into a pig and the woman being a fairy were done too abruptly. Also, this fairy has a kid?
Grammar: 8/10 - No big issues
Entertainment: 6/10 - Good, but not great.
Overall: 25/50

[Jeff]

Judge #3 - Jeff

Romance #1 - LPD

Creativity: 7/10
Word Choice: 8/10
Pace: 6/10
Grammar: 9/10
Entertainment: 7/10
Overall: 37/50


Romance #2 - OTT

Creativity: 8/10
Word Choice: 7/10
Pace: 8/10 - It's fine, really.
Grammar: 4/10
Entertainment: 6/10
Overall: 33/50



Romance #3 - PBG

Creativity: 7/10
Word Choice: 8/10
Pace: 7/10
Grammar: 6/10
Entertainment: 6/10
Overall: 34/50



Play #1 - PBG

Creativity: 9/10
Word Choice: 8/10
Pace: 5/10
Grammar: 10/10
Entertainment: 7/10
Overall: 39/50



Play #2 - LPD

Creativity: 9/10
Word Choice: 7/10
Pace: 8/10
Grammar: 8/10
Entertainment: 7/10
Overall: 39/50



Play #3 - OTT

Creativity: 2/10
Word Choice: 5/10
Pace: 2/10
Grammar: 5/10
Entertainment: 2/10
Overall: 16/50




Children's #1 - OTT


Creativity: 6/10
Word Choice: 7/10
Pace: 7/10
Grammar: 4/10
Entertainment: 6/10
Overall: 30/50


Children's #2 - LPD

Creativity: 8/10
Word Choice: 8/10
Pace: 9/10
Grammar: 8/10
Entertainment: 8/10
Overall: 41/50


Children's #3 - PBG

Creativity: 5/10
Word Choice: 6/10
Pace: 6/10
Grammar: 8/10
Entertainment: 4/10
Overall: 29/50

[Franka]

LOL I saw the first 2 scores for our tribe and I was wondering "How could we not be in first place?" Then I saw the scores for the Children's Story. I'm so sorry, that was my fault! I just recently finished listening to the audio book of Grimm's Fairy Tales and I was thinking, "it IS a children's book, right?" so I went with the gory ending. If we have lost because of it I'd have kicked slapped myself silly.

ETA: Referring to Angi's score. Apparently Jeff's not done yet when I typed this.

[Franka]

Hi Jeff, since after OTT's TC there will be 3 of them left, do PBG have to do anything? Like do we just wait for whoever LPD's top 2 picks are, and we get the 3rd? Or is it alternate pickings, with LPD picking first and last and PBG picking 2nd?

[Jeff]

LPD will have first pick, PBG will have second pick, and then LPD will get the remaining player.

[BrianC]

Congrats all! Good luck Omricon!

[Cybergrl]

Congrats Lambda and Psi!

[Pod6]

Congrats you guys!